Ummm what???

That really was my reaction.... once I heard the doctor say you have leukemia.

Let’s rewind a bit and start at the beginning.

For about 2 weeks I noticed that I was picking up bruises left and right. Everything I leaned on seemed to leave a mark. Finally the last straw was when spent a few hours working on my piece of shit car trying to get it run right. 2 important things happened then cluing me in that something was wrong. First, for part of the work I had to work up under the dash of the car. For about 15 min I was on my side, with my head in the car and my legs outside with my rib cage resting on the rocker of the car. The next morning I woke up, with 3 HUGE and VERY dark bruises on my ribcage. It honestly looked like I had gotten the crap kicked out me. What was really weird there was no real pain... just looked incredibly painful.

The second thing that happened was that while I was wrenching away on my car, I must've cut my finger. Honestly I didn't even notice it had happened, until I looked at my hand and saw my whole hand and palm covered with blood. It was everywhere, on the wrench I was using, dripped on my car, on the driveway. Really disgusting. After washing my hands and doing a damage assessment on my hand, I found the culprit -a tiny 2mm superficial cut on my thumb.

In a way, it is kinda amazing that a car that has the bane of my existence would set in motion a chain of events that would eventually lead to my quick diagnosis.

On Monday, January 11th, on my way into class, I scheduled an appointment an appointment at the University of Maryland. My appointment time was set for 11:30 AM. There was a little of a wait but probably around noon, I went in to see Carolynn. Immediately she noticed that something odd was going on. Actually she kept saying that I was such a fascinating case (it’s most definitely not the most comforting thing to hear a doctor say) She ordered a blood test, ordered me not to leave the building as we waited for the results. Sure enough my platelet count was low. Once she learned that I did have a physician at home and that my mom was a Radiation Oncologist she was confident that I was gonna get the care that I needed to diagnose this future. She did not need to send me to the ER.

Skipping class that afternoon I drove home, calling my physician Dr Howard Goldstein, he made room for me to come in and see him that afternoon. Again here was a physician stunned to see the amount of bruising that have. He drew some blood and looked for signs of swollen lymph nodes, spleen, liver, or any sign of a fever... Nothing... He goes into his office and immediately schedules an appointment with a hematologist for Tuesday afternoon. He sent me home with the explicit instructions that I should treat myself as if I were a boy in a bubble.

The next 24 hours were quite long.... I went to class as I normally would. Of course on my commute to class my cars check engine light pops on (exactly what I needed)...I sat through class but clearly my mind was else were.

230 pm rolls around I head to the doctor (park on the street should be back in time before they start ticketing at 4)... Not going to happen... The doctor was immediately concerned and recommended that we do a bunch of tests to determine what was causing my platelet count drop. He never went into his suspicions about what it could be, but it was clear that he thought it was very serious. So when he gave the choice of going for the bone marrow biopsy that day, I jumped at the chance. I am not a patient person, and waiting 3 days to get only inconclusive test is not a good idea for me. If your gonna make me wait 3 days I better know something conclusive. (The bone marrow procedure was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever gone though... I will spare everyone the gory details, but if you want to just ask and I will gladly share them). I scheduled my follow up appointment Friday, and was settling into a long 3 day wait, when at 1030 AM on Wednesday when my doctor calls and delivers the stunning news... I have Leukemia... words that really suck the air of any room. To be honest... I don't really remember much of the conversation (in my head it really sounded like adults speaking in the Peanuts -waah wahha wahhwah wooannn) only a few words really stuck out... AML, M3, Chemotherapy, and curable (the word curable was somewhat drowned by the moment). I try to get as much information as can fit into thoroughly overwhelmed brain to relay to my mom a recently retired Radiation Oncologist. It was clear that she was gonna take over from now on. I was gonna count on her experience and connections to find the best place for me to get treated. While I was on my home, she was busy calling her former colleagues and we quickly determined that best place for me to get treatment was at George Washington University Hospital where she worked closely with so many people in their oncology departments.

As the day went by... it was becoming more and more clear that my diagnosis was actually a very good one. This subtype of cancer that I have is truly the M3 of leukemia’s. The one you really one you want to have if you have to have a leukemia. The prognosis is very good for a cure, not simply remission. But I am starting this journey the only way that I can -by taking one day at a time.

It is time for me to cut this post off because it becoming clear that I could keep on writing on this topic for ever... my brain is so full of thoughts, feelings and emotions, I could really ramble on forever, but it is really now time to share this with all of you...

This brings me to my last thought.... what has been truly amazing is seeing massive outpouring of support from friends and family... Just the mere thought of what everyone has said, offered or done overwhelms my heart with so much joy and bring tears to my eyes. It really is the most amazing experience to facing such a daunting challenge, and turn around see dozens and dozens of people there walking right behind you as I begin this most unexpected journey. There are no words that do justice to how comforting a feeling that is...

And this blog is dedicated to all of you... Thank you!